Denver Cannabis Cup

We got up Friday morning for a roadtrip to Denver for the Cannabis Cup. We’ve been going for several years, some years to write about it, others to pick up sales leads for work and it’s become a fun tradition for us, especially because we have some old friends in Denver so we can visit while we’re there.


When we left the house there was a chain requirement on La Veta pass, but when we got there, it was reduced to slush. We met up with my hubby’s old friend RD and had dinner at the Buckhorn Exchange. I’d seen it featured on several food network and travel channel shows, so I’d been wanting to go.


It was SO COOL. They had a gazillion taxidermy animals that were exquisitely cared for. It was warm and welcoming. We started our meal with three appetizers; fried artichoke hearts, sirloin game tips (in a killer gravy) and rocky mountain oysters (aka bulls’ testicles, sliced and fried). Hubby and I shared Yak steaks and RD had ribs. All was excellent.


The game tips were amazing, bull, elk and buffalo scraps in gravy that was great with everything. The fried artichokes were good, but I want to make some with some fresh steamed chokes. These were pickled and I’m not huge on pickling flavors. The Rocky Mountain Oysters were a big surprise. They were tender and beefy, totally amazing. My hubby started off adamant that he wouldn’t try them and by the third bite was staking a steady claim on his third of the oysters. He even said they were his favorite of the appetizers we got. RD agreed, but was elbow deep in gravy, even though he doesn’t usually like brown gravy. So I think he liked the game tips best. We hung out at his place until he had to go to work and checked into our hotel.

I was greeted with this and other signs about not smoking.


I had booked this hotel because their website had said that they offered smoking rooms. My husband smokes cigarettes, so it’s more convenient for him. They informed me he wouldn’t be able to smoke even in our car. We found this annoying, but shook it off, we wouldn’t be spending much time here anyhow. We tried to find our room, but the numbers were so small that we had to park and search on foot. When we found our room, it stank like stale cigarette. Even smokers don’t like the smell of old smoke and for us to notice it, it was bad. It irked me that they were so adamant about no smoking anywhere on the property and here we were in a room that reeked of cigarette smoke. I’d been driving all day, so I went to take a shower and found this:


The pictures don’t even show the grime that was in the tub. There was hair in the sink too. I was starting to get frustrated, but trying to make the best of the situation. I decided to just deal without a shower and sat down to relax. My hubby got up to turn on the heater and the smoke alarm immediately starts going off. We turn it and the heater off. I decide at this point to call the front desk. I explained the situation asked them if they had any other rooms and they said no and asked if we wanted him to come up and disconnect the smoke alarm. I say no, since hubby’s an electrician and is already standing on the bed unhooking it. Once it’s unhooked it starts chirping every 30 seconds. The the TV goes out. I burst into tears. We got down to the office and get a refund, telling them it was just too much to deal with. We’d planned to spend 2 nights, but the only other hotels available were expensive enough that our hotel budget would only cover one night. We took our refund to a Holiday Inn Select that we stayed at last year for our Bachelor/ette parties and were relieved to find a beautiful, spotless room. I took an amazing shower and we settled into downy bedding that smelled of clean.


They even let us leave our truck in their parking garage after checking out and called us a cab to the Cannabis Cup. I can’t say enough good things about this Holiday Inn Select 455 S Colorado Blvd, Denver, CO. Or enough bad things about Extended Stay America 4444 Leetsdale Dr Glendale, CO! The Holiday Inn is about $50 more, but SO worth it.

Our cab arrived and I had a little chuckle over this sticker in the back.


This wouldn’t be funny to most people, but I suffer from panic attacks where I generally vomit, it was like a harbinger of things to come and remember this for later on in my story. If you’re an asshole like me, you’ll laugh. Plus, I think it’s funny, so no guilt in enjoying my pain.

We got to the Cannabis Cup 3 hours before the doors opened because the last year we went, we arrived an hour early and were around the block behind about 2000 other VIP ticket holders. General admission people were wrapped around the block several times. I heard wait times for entry in general admission were 6-8 hours. This year we were within the first 20 in the door.


I slipped out of line to get some donuts and saw the enclosure they had set up for general admission, holy hell, no way I’d go through that. General admission was still trying to enter when we were leaving around 3. The VIP tickets might be crazy pricey, but the sun, standing in line and crowds of people don’t go well with me.


They had all these ads all over the barricades.


You don’t have to be lonely with farmersonly dot com! But different. I’m still working on a jingle. No more lonely stoners? While standing in line, CSP (Colorado State Police) flew by on a golf cart and trew flaming Cheetos at us. But no water, police brutality! Wah…


We walked the show and picked up swag bags and saw all kinds of weird, new and interesting things. Here’s some scenes from the inside:

I have no idea what this woman is wearing. Is it a romper? Bathing suit? Shorts? Panties?

I have no idea what this woman is wearing. Is it a romper? Bathing suit? Shorts? Panties?

Random merch

Random merch

Token pixie on a unicycle

Token pixie on a unicycle

Outdoor booths before the rush

Outdoor booths before the rush

Outside booths pre-rush

Outside booths pre-rush

Funny freebie

Funny freebie

Tommy Gun Glass Thing

Tommy Gun Glass Thing

Some random guy ran up and stuck this on me

Some random guy ran up and stuck this on me

They had this shotgun smoking thing. I’m not even sure how this works, but it looked so cool.


I took this for some kind of contest. I have to think of a funny caption. I’m blank. I think I lose this contest.


And finally, a little person dancing in a Magic Butter Costume. Isn’t it a cute costume?


Once it started getting really crowded, we decided to call it a day. We saw a guy selling tickets and asked if he was buying tickets and sold him our tickets for SO JA and Snoop Dogg for $80. We jumped in a cab that was stopped at a red light and headed back to our hotel to get the truck. On the way, the cabbie started to make me carsick and/or I started having a panic attack. This is where the vomit fee comes back into the picture. I’m feeling more and more queasy and it’s becoming the longest ride ever. I start looking through the swag bags I’ve picked up and they’re all canvas or athletic fabric. Not water proof. I pick the least interesting one and hold it at the ready. I roll down the window and close my eyes and try to breathe through to our destination. The driver has a heavy African accent and road rage. Deep breath in. I see our hotel from a few blocks away. Breath out. There’s a ton of traffic. Stop. Start. Lurch. Deep breath in. Maybe we should just get out here and hoof it. Breathe out. We get out of the cab about a block from the hotel, my hubby hands him $50 for a $30 fare, the cab disappears from sight and I fall to all fours and vomit. Twice. While retching, I also piss myself. I’m shaky, but I get back to my feet and rinse out my mouth. We walk back to the hotel and I change my pants in the parking garage. Unfortunately the only clean pants we have are my hubby’s camo pajama pants. Screw it.

We drive to RD’s garage to pick up my hubby’s motorcycle. While they fiddle with it I relax and my stomach settles. We get the bike loaded up and head for home. That’s enough city time for awhile, yuck.

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~ by accordingtoleanne on April 19, 2015.

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