An Open Letter to My Abuser

It’s been 2 years since you tried to kill me in a drunken rage that I had no blame for. I remember the night well. December 8, 2010. I sat there while you held a gun to my head and forced me to cock it myself. You laughed manically as I cried, realizing that I couldn’t protect my cats from you once you killed me. You kept me there for hours while you cocked it, held it to my head, removed it, laughed and repeated it. This was the worst part, not knowing if you’d torture me for hours before I died or if we could just get it over with. When you finally passed out drunk, I ran to the neighbors house and broke down. I decided that night to get out. It may have taken me over a month to formulate and fund my escape plan, but that night was the night I decided to get out. You see, you systematically tore away my independence. Heaping your bills on me and forcing me to get food stamps to buy groceries with while you made 80K a year. You forced me to get braces and ruined my teeth. You allowed me the use of your vehicles, but left no doubt that they were NOT mine. I had to enlist the help of several compatriots to manage my escape. I have no doubt if you had any inkling of my plans, you would have killed me. But, I escaped. Or so I thought.

For the last 2 years, you have harassed me in any way you can think of. I changed my phone number, routed your emails and comments to spam, but you change your email address and do it anyway. For the last 2 years, you’ve terrorized me and my mind broke. I had multiple panic attacks a day from the trauma of that night that won’t heal because of your constant tormenting. Something in my mind has snapped again, only this time it’s not fear. It’s rage. I’m not afraid of you any more. You see, these 2 years have been a time of growth and discovery for me and you know what I discovered? That I’m a bad ass and that you’re a coward behind a keyboard. You’ve been harassing me for longer than our relationship lasted in the first place and it stops NOW. From today forward, I will file a police report on any contact you make to me. I’ve already got a fat folder ready to go to my lawyer, over 60 emails and about as many text messages. Go ahead and give me the rope to hang you with. I dare you.

As if it weren’t bad enough how abusive and insane you were during the relationship. If anything, you owe me a GIANT apology. There is no excuse for this behavior. You were a constant terror. I cleaned up broken glass nearly every day from your drunken stupidity. I watched you drive blasted drunk to the park to do donuts in the parking lot. You tried to kill me. AND THEN, you have the audacity to harass me for 2 YEARS??!! You are a monster and you need to get help before you kill someone. That’s right, I ALMOST forgot. I’m not the only one you’ve done this to. I wasn’t the first or the last. I hear the girl after me got it worse.  This is a serial killer in the making, folks and no one is doing a thing about it.

This man is Sergio Salazar, he works for the US Navy as a civilian doing engineering for the computers on submarines. He’s got a top secret government clearance. Doesn’t that make you feel safe? They’ll apparently give these clearances to any alcoholic with violent tendencies. I have complained to his boss, NCIS, the CISSP ethics board and to the Kitsap county police and he still has a job. I plan to write to the Kitsap Sun to expose all of these agencies’ negligence if he isn’t stopped. Oh, and I figure you’d be cool with the picture since you’ve already sent nude ones of me to about everyone you could think of. Turnabout is fair play, although I won’t sink to your level, even though I have some awesome ones of you that will be much more embarrassing than mine were.

~ by accordingtoleanne on November 20, 2012.

9 Responses to “An Open Letter to My Abuser”

  1. Holy shit, Leanne. That’s awful. Good for you for getting out of there and becoming stronger for it.

    Hang in there ^_^

    hug.

  2. That is terrible to read. I’m sorry to hear you went through that. I hope justice is served to him. Keep up the fight!

  3. I admire your courage, Leanne! I And the strength with which you are facing the situation. Yes, it is a shame that he is still “free”, he is violent and obviously very dangerous. Thank you so much for the post! It is a big thing to reveal someone on the internet. I hope very much that justice will prevail!

  4. […] I spent my whole life in sheepskin until I was back into a corner. *Check here for the background https://accordingtoleanne.com/2012/11/20/an-open-letter-to-my-abuser/ At first I was afraid and I ran and cried, but now, I’m done running. I’m going to […]

  5. Wow what an absolute dick! I cannot believe how low people will stoop. Keep trying to get his ass fired and in jail. Bad karma will come around to that man..wait, no….that boy! You are so strong for what you have been through, and I only hope one day justice will be served. Stay strong

  6. Wow! I dated this guy in college, and I feel like I dodged a big fat bullet. So sorry to read what happened, but glad that you made it out OK.

  7. Holy crap… Dated this guy briefly pre ’10. I’m sitting here, many years later, remembering what a shitty person he was. I google him and THIS comes up.

    I’m so sorry you went through what you did. Glad to be a part of the “dodged that bullet” club.

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