Giving Up Shoulds

Today is Give Up Your Shoulds Day. I think this is a great idea. We all have these ideas in our heads about what other people expect of us and in general, these are good things, like you should wear a bra in public, you should brush your teeth, you should finish school and you should be respectful. However, a lot of us carry around shoulds that are complete BS.

I’ve actually been working on this a lot with my anxiety problems and it’s very helpful to let go of some misconceived things that you feel you are expected to do that no one truly expects. Here’s a few of my should’s that I have or am giving up:

I should clean every week. I should cook dinner every night from scratch. I should say yes to every request that’s made to me. I should put my loved ones’ needs above my own. I should be nice to everyone all the time.  I should keep my feelings to myself. I should be more feminine or sexier. I should be a size _.  I should have a baby by 30.  I should always answer the phone.

I have adopted a ‘good enough’ policy. I keep the house and myself presentable, but not spotless. I make dinners from scratch when I want to cook. When I don’t feel like it, we whip up something from a box or the freezer or whatever. It’s good enough. I spent way too long sacrificing my own comfort for others, sometimes you need to say no. If you’re too tired, too busy or really just not interested, say no.  I accept that I’m not the girliest or sexiest woman out there and that’s ok. I’m cute and that’s good enough. I’m tough and smart and that’s good enough. I’m a size 8 and that’s good enough. I’m thinking I’ll roll the dice and have a baby when I’m ready, not when news articles tell me my deadline is. Leave me a message, I’m being good enough.

Basically, I’m saying live by your own rules. Don’t make yourself crazy trying to meet some Stepford standard. Do things that make you happy just because they make you happy. Let yourself be who you are and don’t apologize for it.

By the way, today is also National Men Make Dinner Day. He may only be able to make mac n’ cheese, but if you don’t have to make it, isn’t it good enough?

~ by accordingtoleanne on November 1, 2012.

2 Responses to “Giving Up Shoulds”

  1. Sweetie, your’e more than good enough!!!!

  2. Yes, I agree, but I think you are even more than “good enough”. You are good to the bone. You have given me food for thought though, I always seem to think that I “should”…… be it whatever. Now I will rethink and maybe get it through my head that sometimes it will be ok to just be me, and not what I think others want of me. Thanks so much for the insight!

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