50 Shades of Abusive

I just finished reading the third book of the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy and I have to say it’s not a very romantic story. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed reading it. But, I hope no women out there hold this as a goal for a relationship. Everything about Christian Grey screams abusive to me. I guess this is just coming from a place of being abused in a similar fashion (not the sexual stuff in the book!). You don’t need bruises for it to be abuse. (Also, as an aside; there is nothing inherently wrong or bad about the Domination/Submissive relationship, just be happy and love each other. I don’t care how you do it.) Men that charm you and then systematically take away your independence are not to be trusted. Especially when they display the obsessive controlling behavior in the book. I don’t want to spoil the book if anyone hasn’t read it yet, but PLEASE do not think this is a healthy way to live. I spent all three books waiting for him to go off the deep end and hurt/kill her. I know how this story ends in real life and it’s not a fairytale.

I got this list from http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/am-i-being-abused/ If you think you are being abused, get help!

Below is a list of possible signs of abuse. Some of these are illegal. All of them are wrong. You may be abused if your partner:

  • Monitors what you’re doing all the time
  • Unfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the time
  • Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family
  • Prevents or discourages you from going to work or school
  • Gets very angry during and after drinking alcohol or using drugs
  • Controls how you spend your money
  • Controls your use of needed medicines
  • Decides things for you that you should be allowed to decide (like what to wear or eat)
  • Humiliates you in front of others
  • Destroys your property or things that you care about
  • Threatens to hurt you, the children, or pets
  • Hurts you (by hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting)
  • Uses (or threatens to use) a weapon against you
  • Forces you to have sex against your will
  • Controls your birth control or insists that you get pregnant
  • Blames you for his or her violent outbursts
  • Threatens to harm himself or herself when upset with you
  • Says things like, “If I can’t have you then no one can.”

~ by accordingtoleanne on August 4, 2012.

3 Responses to “50 Shades of Abusive”

  1. Totally agree with the violence, I haven’t read the books but I hope women who see the warning signs get help. Abusive partners rarely change.

    I’m so glad you are safe.

  2. I haven’t read it. I’m not sure if I want to anymore ):

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