Post office apocalypse

They are buzzing around like angry bees, zipping from parking lot to parking lot, hustling in and out of the cold, searching for…I don’t think they really know what they’re searching for. These holiday busy bodies who honk and cut off and steal parking spaces have no idea what it is they are looking for. I think they are merely bored with their lives and the holiday season brings a bustle of activity that they can participate in in their own mean-spirited and busy way.

I first noticed this swarming of killer bees at the post office, where I had stopped in to buy a few stamps and send out our holiday photo cards. Yes. I have become one of those people. The people who send photo greeting cards of themselves and their family to hapless souls whose addresses I have hoarded all year. I am also the sick type of individual who includes my cat in the photo and writes notes from him to my family and friends. I walked into the post office hoping to use the automated stamp machine and avoid all human interaction, but there was a line for the automated machine. So I waited. And waited. When it was my turn to tell the machine what I wanted, I did my business as quickly and quietly as possible so as not to attract the attention of a particularly cranky chunky woman. As I was leaving though, I caught her eye and she took the opportunity to launch into a tirade about why the flag was not at half-mast when it was an officially half-mast day and how she was going to go in and fight the 30 some odd people in line to complain about it to the poor overworked and overstretched postal clerks. I nodded and made my exit.

Or so I thought. I got into my car and cranked up the heater and put it in reverse expecting that I could escape this shop of horrors. I had to have sat with my reverse lights on for a solid 5 minutes while people whipped past me to secure a parking space, totally disregarding the fact that if they would only allow me to get out of their way, they could joyously take up my post and conduct their doomed postal business. Apparently that didn’t occur to any of these frenzied postal zombies. It was like a feeding frenzy over parking. I finally escaped, but something very odd happened. Somehow this craze has taken over a good portion of town, especially Wal-Mart, the grocery stores and any major thoroughfares. I always think it’s interesting what the holidays do to people. In a time of love and peace among men, honking and bad driving increase to apocalyptic proportions.

~ by accordingtoleanne on December 10, 2009.

One Response to “Post office apocalypse”

  1. Parking lots during this time of year is gruesome. Any consideration is pretty much thrown out the door as people are fighting for the closest place to park.

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